Beyond the Sugar

I am obsessed with lists, and if you were to take a peek at my iPhone notepad right now you’d find over 30 pages of random lists. They range from recipes, grocery store items, websites, restaurants, and things to do, to the dimensions of the space where my microwave is placed. Not only do I like to make lists, I like following through with the items even more. Some call it obsessive, I call it supreme organization.

One of the items on one of the numerous MBA related lists was to write this post. So with a little time on my hands, I decided I’d take few a few minutes and cross this one off. I’m also kind of obsessed with my phone. I realized the other night that I checked my iPhone somewhere in the ballpark of 10 times within a one hour television show that I was supposed to be watching with Brian. What was I hoping to find buried inside my email box, twitter, or MBA? I have no freaking idea and that’s quite pathetic.

Not only am I moderately obsessive, but I also suffer from self-diagnosed ADD. Call me on the phone; odds are I’ll listen to about 40% of what you’re saying. Not because I don’t care, but because I’m always juggling at least 5 things at once…and lately, I’m dropping the balls. My friend Brittani actually quizzes me on items in our conversations to see if I am listening…I often fail…again, pathetic. Does that make me a bad friend, daughter, sister or girlfriend? Not really, because although I may not pay attention to 60% of life’s daily ramblings…I’ll stick by your side like no other when I am really needed. That much I can promise.

You are probably sitting at your computer right now thinking, what the hell is going on? Where are the cupcakes, where’s the freaking chocolate, where are the photos, and what’s with all this useless information? Well, here’s the deal. After posting my story about my breast cancer scare, I got a bunch of emails with a common theme. Many expressed gratitude for putting my life out there in black and white; however, beyond the thank yous was something a little deeper. Many of the emails used words to describe that post as real, authentic, and transparent and those simple words got me thinking…am I fake? Is this blog simply a sugared over concoction of my life? Yes, and no. I’m guarded…sure I’ll sprinkle in some sarcasm and wit here and there, but does my blog represent my true self? Probably not. Why? Because truthfully, I never thought people would give a rat’s ass about anything beyond the sugar. Oddly enough some of you do, so I’ve decided to take that leap and maybe offer up a little bit more of myself intertwined with all that sugary goodness.

Maybe you actually care that I have a fear of entering banks, that I use profanity as a stress reliever, that I can’t chew gum for longer than 10 minutes without swallowing it, or that I often contemplate why my dog’s feet smell like Fritos…and maybe you don’t, but I figured I’d throw it out there. Take it or leave it.